What do you find most attractive about your spouse, significant other or your crush?

The fact that he’s loyal, and I feel safe with him. 🙂

   

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Of Chauvinists and Feminists

So lately, I’ve discovered a self-proclaimed chauvinist named Dick Masterson. His basic ideology is that “men are better than women” (he even has a website named such), and he believes that all women are gold-digging whores who are idiots and are good for nothing but procreation.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m NO feminist. But I’m no chauvinist either. I believe that both are equal, Different, yes, because God MADE us to be different, but equal nonetheless. Each gender has their strong points and weak points, but that doesn’t make one “better” than the other. So why do we strive over who is better and who isn’t? Could it be because of our OWN insecurities? Could it be that this Dick Masterson person is a chauvinist simply because he is afraid of his own weakness? I think so.

Also, operating off of this delusion is operating off of a flawed stereotype. If I did such, I could say that “all men only care about sex” just as easily. But that doesn’t make that true. I know plenty of men (including my own boyfriend) who are quite the opposite.

Maybe we should all take those blinders of insecurity off and stop being ignorant and arrogant. People are individuals, gender not playing a role, and to judge an individual (and their individual experiences) off of a stereotype is futile.

HEY WORLD, GUESS WHAT!!!!!!

So yeah, it pretty much goes without saying that Bobby is the best boyfriend in the whole frickin’ world.

Allow me to tell you all why. There are many reasons, but here are the basics (in random order).

 

1. He’s always there for me.

2. He protects me.

3. He loves me.

4. He actually LIKES to talk to me. (Weird, I know)

5. He always makes time for me.

6. I frickin’ love him.

7. He’s actually a Christian, like me! :O YAY

8. He’s honest with me.

9. I feel like I can be honest with him and not be judged for it.

10. He comforts me when I’m sad.

11. We can laugh at the same things.:)

12. He doesn’t make me feel like an idiot.

 

That’s the short version. Lol….<3

I’m So Cold.

It’s so freaking cold here. *shivers*

 

I am sad. And tired. And confused. And I don’t know what to think about things. Everyone and everything seems so far away right now.

 

I think I need a hug. 😦

 

Anyway, enough being emo.

 

Some stupid little chauvinist has been harassing me on youtube for the past three days, concerning a comment I made on a video (the video was of a blatant chauvinist making an idiot of himself on live TV), saying that men and women are different, yet of equal value. I should NOT have said that there. I got an onslaught of self-proclaimed “men” telling me to “get back in the kitchen b****” and that (pardon the expression) “women are just walking tits with legs, good for nothing but procreation.” As much as I wanted to rip all of their heads off with a storm of furious outrage, I decided against it. That would’ve been the immature thing to do, and would’ve got me nothing but trouble from those pig-headed buffoons. So I simply deleted my old account so that the endless stream of harassment would end, and created a new one. But I swear, the idiotic arrogance of some people……

 

Anywayz. I’m bored.

Tonight…

“And every night I miss you,
I can just look up,
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you…
Tonight. ♥”
 

I miss him so badly tonight. 😦 But I love him, so I’ll just deal with it.

BUT there is a good thing about long distance. When you’re in a normal relationship, there’s always the part of you that doubts, and says “What if he only likes me for my body?” I don’t have that here, cause my body isn’t even THERE. So ha. That’s one more insecurity knocked off the list. Of course, then there’s the opposite of that one, where you think, “What if he doesn’t like my body at all?” Haha, is it awkward yet? XD

But you know, I think that stuff shouldn’t matter really. I mean YEAH of course you’re supposed to be physically attracted to whoever you’re planning on getting together with…DUH. But it shouldn’t be the center of your relationship. Love is supposed to be about having a partner, someone who will be there for you, and help you through life, and you can be there for them too. It’s supposed to be a support system of sorts, but so much deeper than that, because you’re supposed to be connected with the other person in every way imaginable. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have your differences, because as the saying goes “Iron sharpens iron.” Having someone exactly like you in every way will get boring after a while. You’ll never have anything new to either person. I mean, you can share things and enjoy things (of course), but it’s okay to be an individual, and like the things you like. 

I am ranting. Haha….

I’m really bored.

 

Huh?

Well…..all in all, these past two days have been pretty crappy. 😦 Everybody has been acting really weird, and I’m not sure why. My mom has been snapping at me every time I turn around, my siblings are all irritable, and even my coworkers are getting grouchy. Even Bobby is seeming distant lately (but I’m sure he doesn’t mean to). I’m not sure what I did wrong, but lately people are acting weird with me.

Maybe it’s all in my head.

I don’t know. But now I feel slightly sad, so I will listen to Blink-182 (that and Anberlin are my “I’m sad” music) to get it all out. 😛

Love Like A Hurricane

Hmm.

I should stop being insecure. For realz.

I know it’s not all gonna happen overnight….

But seriously.

I’m a really insecure person, and there’s no need for it. I have people who love me, and won’t just up and leave me for no reason. I have the best freaking boyfriend in the world. He sticks around through all my insecurities. He’s there for me. And more than that, he loves me through it all.

And I have 2 of the best friends anyone can ask for. They know me through and through, and still stay.

So there’s no need for insecurity here.

I love like a hurricane.

Honestly? Insecure. *facepalm*

Sitting in the dark at night,
I lie awake, my thoughts swirling too fast to stop,
Or to sleep.
My insecurities,
Smashing me with blows like these,
“What if he don’t like what he see?
What if I’m not everything he thought I would be?
What if, given the chance,
To see who I am for me,
In reality,
What if he don’t like what I am?”
I mean let’s face it,
I know I’m messed up.
I know I’ve been abused,
And I’m just second-rate,
And I know that I might act all cool
Under the mask of the internet.
But what if who I really am
Isn’t what he was out to get?
What if, what if,
He only loves
Who he might’ve thought I was?

Memory-type Jewlz

I wear a lot of necklaces/bracelets. I usually only wear them for sentimental value, so I thought I’d tell the story of each one here. If you think it’s boring, you don’t have to read it you know.

Ok, I’ll start with the oldest one.

This is my Acquire the Fire necklace. I got this 2 years ago, and my youth pastor at the time, Brian, got one just like it. That was a pretty good weekend. See, the month before, I had been told by my parents that I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my best friends (Laura, Aron, and Dan) anymore because things were getting really bad. Well, that was a really hard time for me. And then, that weekend, I finally started talking to those three again. I had missed them really badly. Me and Laura spent a lot of time together that weekend.

 

This is my Camp Maranatha necklace. Noelle gave this to me when she came back to visit, in the summer of 2009. That wasn’t a very good summer for me, because I was alone at home, and I was going through all that crap with Isaac also. But that day that everyone came back to visit was an amazing day, one of the best of the summer. We all went to my house, then we went and crashed Jim’s house so we could kidnap Dewey and Noelle, and then we went to the park and then back to my place for youth group. It was a beautiful day out, and it had rained earlier so it wasn’t too hot. And I sat on the swings and had a deep conversation with Noelle. The other memory this necklace holds is the memory of going to Maranatha this past summer. That was the best weekend of the year, in my opinion. I had just broken up with Isaac, and I went there to get away from all the stress. It helped me so much…..for the first time in over a year, I felt peaceful. And happy. And accepted. All in all, it was a great time.

 

I got this necklace from Cara, when she came back from the Mexico trip this past year. She and I were growing really close, and after she gave that to me, we walked around outside the church in the rain for an hour straight just talking about our lives.

 

This bracelet I got when I went to the FF5 concert back in December, with Jenna and Jared. That was an amazing time for me, because I had just decided that it wasn’t going to work out between me and Jordan, and I just wanted to get away. And those two people helped me do that. Jenna and Jared are two of my best friends now.

And finally,

This necklace I got in a box from Bobby, it was part of my Christmas present from him. The memory that will always be attached to this is Christmas, and realizing that I can be loved by someone for who I am. That’s never really happened before. So I will always wear this one and remember that.

 

Well, that’s pretty much all of them. I hope you had fun reading this.

He is.

He is my protector.

My guardian.

My best friend.

My confidant.

The only one who understands.

My shoulder to cry on.

My comforter.

My advisor.

My evil cohort.

My trustworthy companion.

My other half.

My love.

 

He means everything to me.