Captain Kirk is really random.
Today, we are going to get rid of stuff in the house so it’ll be easier to pack when we move. We’re moving sometime this year. Not out of the area or anything, but we can’t afford to buy this house, so we have to move. Moving is NOT fun. I’ve done it waaay too many times. 18 to be exact. We’ve never stayed in one house longer than 2 years.
I also need to clean my room. I ransacked it last night and took apart random things, in order to make something for somebody. I won’t say what it is, but it’s made of a piece of leather from my brother’s old belt, fabric paint, a paperclip, a shoelace, and some random beads I found on a pillow’s edge. That….was fun. And the THING looks pretty cool, if I do say so myself. 🙂
Blah. I’m bored.
Unrelated deviation from the thought-train! *changes the track* Why do people get in relationships if they won’t be loyal? Are they TRYING to break other people’s hearts? I was talking to a friend of mine earlier today, who said that her ex-boyfriend broke up with her and then wanted to get back together, at the same time as flirting with her sister. Who on Earth does that? Really. I mean, loyalty and commitment are the basic building blocks of relationships. How are you supposed to trust someone who goes around flirting with every other person in the 40 mile radius while your back is turned? You can’t. Sorry, but I feel like ranting about this right now. So, my dad was like that. And still is. My parents aren’t legally divorced, only separated, yet he continues to flirt with every woman (even the married ones)….IN THE CHURCH. Of all the places! And he did that even before they were separated! I guess that is the thing I fear most about relationships. I seem to have this innate fear that I might get together with someone who only seems like they care but then as soon as I let my guard down, they’re gone. I don’t know if I can handle having my heart broken AGAIN. And I don’t want it to be that way. It’s just that I’ve always been the one who gets left behind. The one that people act like they like, but then just leave. It’s really painful, and I just want one person who genuinely cares, and who will STAY. That’s all I really want. And the thing is…..I might actually have it. I don’t know yet, but I really hope so.
Haha another thought…..I love people too hard I think. Maybe that’s my problem. I mean, maybe they get overwhelmed by my borderline obsessiveness and just leave. I don’t know. And I can’t really help it….I mean, when I love someone, I REALLY love them. And, being that one of my main 3 ways of showing affection is time and attention (the other 2 are encouragement and physical affection, haha), I end up almost harassing people. Haha well anyway…..there’s not really anything I can do about the way I love people. I’m just an overly-passionate person I guess.
I hope this pointless ranting hasn’t bored you, random stalker reading my Xanga (or friend reading my Xanga, either way).