Warning: Touchy Subject

Okay. I’m bored. So I’m gonna talk about a touchy subject today, and how I feel about said subject. Cause that’s just how I am, I talk about anything and everything, awkward or not.

Subject confronted today: Porn Addiction.

Yep. Here we go.

Now, I understand how hard it is to resist this type of thing. It’s practically a disease in my family, my father and my older brother both struggled with this, and as far as I know, neither have gotten any better about it. In fact, in his teen days, it led my older brother into other things, such as promiscuity, beastiality, the works (eew). But maybe if men understood how it makes women feel, maybe they’d think twice before viewing this kind of stuff. So I’ll tell you all exactly what goes through my mind when confronting this.

First: Pain. The pain from my past with my father and brother, and the consequences of their addictions all comes flooding back to me.

Second: Fear. I fear that the addiction will turn whoever has it into what my father and brother were; sexually abusive people. Which is true. It tends to do that sort of thing after long periods of time. So then I back away from the person, because I don’t want to be hurt anymore.

Third: Inadequacy/Worthlessness. I feel like if they look at that sort of thing, then they must therefore only see women in general as sex objects. Do you have any idea how degrading that is? It’s like I’m less of a person. And that’s where the worthlessness comes in, then I feel like I can never compare to whoever it is that they’re looking at, and therefore am not valuable.

And finally, fourth: Loss of trust. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can’t trust someone who I fear, has hurt me, and made me feel worthless at the same time. That’s just my feelings though…..it doesn’t mean I excommunicate people who have this problem, it just means I am very hurt by it.

I guess the reason why I feel that porn is wrong is because 1. it makes men think impure thoughts, which is BAD. 2. It gives men a warped expectation on what women are like, and then they can’t really be satisfied by their future wife. 

But for those of you good men who simply struggle with an addiction, and WANT to change, and KNOW it’s wrong, I must say this isn’t a condemnation from me. You’re not bad people, you just have a problem. I don’t judge you as people for your struggles, because everyone struggles with something or other. But then, there are those men who will say “I can look at whatever I want, it’s not wrong. Girls are only there for us to look at.” (my father’s mentality). To THOSE types of men, who don’t even WANT to change……good riddance.


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