So I think I’m gonna use this blog as a sort of online journal, because I tend to process things externally, so writing down my thoughts helps me to think things through. That and I wanted a private blog because sometimes I just need to talk about things without everyone in the world plus their mother hearing about it, and nobody knows about this blog except for Laura and Cara, and I trust them. 🙂 So yeah.
Anyhow. This morning, Bobby and I had this whole big Breakfast/Pajama/Batmanathon party with Noah, Diana, and Haanzs. It was pretty awesome, I stuffed myself with bacon and Haanzs is hilarious, he’s probably like my second favorite friend here in Colorado. We were talking about Son of Batman, and he was like, “It starts out with Talia knocking on Batman’s door like, ‘BITCH, YOU’D BETTER GIVE ME MAH CHILD SUPPORT MONEY, DAMIAN-LAQUANDA NEEDS HIS DIAPERS!!!'” Oh mah gosh, it was freaking hilarious! I was pretty much on the floor laughing! XD
So yeah, Haanzs is awesome.
Anyway, I also got new shoes today.
Red converse, in honor of the fact that I’m being myself again. 🙂 I’m still breaking them in, so they feel a little weird on my feet right now. but I think they’ll be just fine. I’m so excited!! It sounds totally weird, but I feel like this is just a signal to me that I’m reverting back into the awesome person I once was, the person I used to know. I don’t know who I’ve become over the past year or so, but it isn’t someone that I like very much. I’m so excited to get back to Omaha. I feel like, at last, I will be happy again. I will have friends who are like me and who like me for who I am, and don’t try to force me to be like them.
I know I keep rambling about that kind of thing, but I just haven’t felt this free in SUCH a long time. I really want to go to a concert now, or just sit around with friends and listen to music and laugh and stuff. It’s been so long since I had that kind of friendship.
So anyway, last night Bobby and I went out to this get Wendy’s in Falcon, and then we drove out to Peyton and went to a lake in the middle of nowhere there. It was nice, I like the water. Although for some reason, I’m distrustful of the water at night. Something about the dark plus the already murky water just makes me feel like there are too many hazard factors involved for it to be safe. Lol. But it was a nice night, we were out there until about 11pm and then we drove back and stopped at the Walmart in Falcon, and got some groceries and fun pajamas for our party (and also I got a shirt with Darth Vader kayaking on it).
So all in all, it was a nice night. 🙂
We’ve been having a lot of nights like that lately. Bobby once called it a “nostalgic night” on his DA journal, but it’s the kind of night that is just fun and you’re happy, and you do silly things just because you can and you enjoy it. I’m pretty happy with it, we weren’t really doing much of anything together for a while there, so it’s a really nice change. It almost feels like back when we first started dating. I think we’ll have a lot more fun like this when we’re in Omaha though. Gah, I can’t wait!
You know, I think I’m just tired of MISSING things. I’m tired of thinking about how nice things used to be, and sitting around here feeling trapped, like I can never get back that happiness. I say the word “miss” so many times every day, it sickens me. I don’t want to miss things, I don’t want to pine over happy days, I just want to live and be happy and never have to look back.
Anyway, sorry this post was so long-winded. Byyyyeee!